A sharing of a nightmare.

Today I have Midwestern Mama sharing with us her worst (i think) nightmare. I'm sharing another ghost story on Saturday, October 30, so go on over there and check her out and love on her immensly cause she rocked my socks right off, twice.

Without further ado... Midwestern Mama!!!

****

Ive had this recurring dream for as long as I can remember. I can even remember having it as kid.

It always starts out the same. I’m playing in this big old house, it’s filled with old antiques and the banister of the stairs is a combination of wrought iron and dark wood. It has a large angel on the hand pad of the rail. It scares me and fascinates me at the same time.  There is an old antique fainting couch that is upholstered in animal print complete with bright red trim (I know, but the house isn’t a brothel).  I can smell the musty air of the place, and see the dust particles flying around in the streaks of sunlight coming through the large stained glass windows.

I continue to play with old antique porcelain dolls until the curiosity of what is upstairs gets the best of me.  I don’t know how I get upstairs, but suddenly I’m there and roaming in and out of the rooms. Rooms filled with old canopy beds, antique music boxes and furniture. By all rights I should be afraid, but I’m not. There isn’t another soul in the house that I can see, but I am not afraid. 

I find this one small door at the end of a very long hallway. I open it and go through it. Suddenly I’m in a completely different part of the house, a part that looks like it has been closed off for centuries.  I’m walking on a inside sidewalk that spirals the outside of the walls in what may have one time been a garden, but is now all grown over. I can smell the earth and hear the creaking ornate iron slats as I walk over them. 

It’s at this point in the dream that I find myself in an old bathroom. It has an old claw foot tub and the smell of powder in the air. I’m instantly terrified. Terrified to the point I can’t move, I can’t scream, I can’t do anything. I’m in a panic.
Just as I’m to the point of dream that I feel like I’m going to faint a pair of hands reach out to me. I can only see whoever this is from the elbows down. The arms are clad in red plaid sleeves. 

They reach out to me and without a word, I know I’m safe. I reach out; take the hands and suddenly I’m transported to the outside of the house across the street on the sidewalk looking at the front of the house.

 And I wake up.Always.

*****

If you want to share your worst nightmare please email me at breathofella@gmail.com

Keeping up with Halloween: My biggest fear.

Fear.





I do not do well with being scared.
I get panic attacks.
I can't breath.
While I fear whatever is scaring me, the Panic attack scares the bajeezus out of me too which puts me in quite the predicament and typically just makes the attack so much worse than it should be and lost way longer than necessary.

It takes me a long time to calm down.


I am arachnophobia.
Terribly arachnophobic. Like stand there frozen in fear or run like hell screaming terrified of spiders.

Spiders scare the HELL out of me. I have tried and worked on moving on from this fear for years with limited success. In fact, the only success I've really had is being able to calmly smush a spider in my car while I'm driving. I really had to work on that though, I almost died I don't know how many times because some jerk spider decided to crawl across my steering wheel and I would spaz out nearly crashing my car into whatever was within my vicinity. Needless to say, it was something that needed to be done.

However, if the car is parked I will jump out of my car and run away screaming like hell or just freeze up and wait for it to just start crawling all over me.

*shivers*

I'm getting the heebejeebees just thinking about them. Also, my breathing is starting to become shallow and my heart is racing.. no need to panic.. deep breathing.. HEEEEEE..HOOOOOO...

Okay, let me continue..

It started when we lived on out first farm. There was a window just outside of my bedroom with a little step underneath. It was the PERFECT spot for a nap anytime of the year. The sun felt so good beating down on you and the carpet was just plush enough to give you a good amount of cushion, it was magical. One day, I had taken my pillow out there with me to indulge in my nap (mind you I was like 5 or 6). I fell asleep without a care or fear in the world.. little did I know that would all change in the 45 minutes I slept on my favorite step...

I heard my dad walking in and out of the house and started waking up. I was delirious, sleepy and just beginning to open my eyes... then I saw it. A spider staring at me with one of its 8 legs just tapping up and down 2 feet from my face. Naturally I freaked out thinking this monster was going to/already had laid eggs on or in me or was going to eat my brain (I had a VERY active imagination.). I ran to my bathroom only to discover there was another spider on my face. I freaked right the eff out. I knocked that teeny tiny GIGANTIC spider off my face and ran out of my house faster than a speeding bullet.

I have never been the same.

I have had a long journey trying to battle this fear and really, other than the driving thing, I am no better than when everything first happened 15 years ago. It's like everytime I see one of those things (real or fake) I relive that moment on the step or that moment in the bathroom and feel that initial panic and fear all over again.

Someday I'll share with you the tales of me camping in a spider pit
and the dreams I have about those bastards (You'd think those would be my worst nightmare, but they aren't), but for now, I'm going to grab a paper bag and do some deep breathing excercises before I end up in the corner rocking back and forth.

I don't want to go to the looney bin just yet.

What is your biggest fear? Got any weird phobias?

A Small Dose of Crazy.

It's Halloween.
Obviously.

I think I should get a nod for being so blatant.
*nod here*
Thank you.

I've always been haunted. Things have gone bump in the night around me for as long as I can remember.
I've heard voices, seen things, felt others.. I guess I was just one of the "lucky" ones.. right? Well, I'm just blessed.. or cursed.. depending on how you look at it. 

I'm going to tell you a story. 
One of the many I have on hand to share..


I grew up on farms. It wasn't until about a year and half ago that my family moved to the city into a newer house so I was used to the creaks and moans of an old house.


When I was 9 we moved into this old farm house. This house (at least one side) was built in the mid 1800's and was creepy. I felt really weird just being in that house let alone sleeping so I did what any 9 year old would do.. I slept in my older sister's room. After 2 months (give or take a few) my sister made me stay in my own room and I didn't sleep for a while but eventually got over it and without too many incidents.


In order to understand this story you need to meet someone..

This is my cat Peeps. She is a demon. 

So yeah, that's Peeps. She is a nightmare, but that's a story for a different day...


Peeps seems to think she is a dog and used to drink out of the toilet and as you can see, she's pretty little. She's around 10 years old and still only weighs.. maybe 10lbs. That made it ridiculously easy for her to fall into the toilet when she would drink out of it. I fished her out on many occasion. She isn't the brightest crayon in the box and never learned her lesson.


One night, right around 1:30am, I heard splashing coming from my bathroom. I got up, annoyed, thinking she had once again fallen into my toilet. I stumbled my way to the bathroom with sleepy eyes to find the lid on the toilet down. I lifted it up and there was no cat inside. I shrugged and made my way downstairs to see if maybe she was down there.. Turns out all 3 of my cats were outside wandering on our property.


I didn't think much of it and went back to bed.


3:00am.

I hear the splashing again and now I'm just pissed. I'm disoriented from having been asleep and woken up again so I stomp my way back to the bathroom and walk through the door to find the water running. I walked into the bathroom figuring I had just left the water running and walked forward towards the sink to turn it off.


I got about half way to the sink and I couldn't move anymore. My body was completely paralyzed by some unknown force.. perhaps presence and I stood there and watched as the water started splashing every which way as if someone was smacking their hand back and forth through the water soaking me and my bathroom to the bone. 


I watched in pure horror until it stopped abruptly and I rushed forward and turned the water off and hauled ass back to my bed and crawled under my covers and didn't resurface until late into the morning when I heard sounds of life downstairs and the sun was all but half way through the sky.


This kind of shit happened to me all the time there. No one else in my family ever had these kinds of experiences.


Basically, my family thinks I'm a little nutty because of it.
Me?
I'm a believer in the after life. 
Maybe that does make me crazy.


For another one of my ghost stories go to Midwestern Mama's page on Saturday, October 30th where I talk about the time I actually saw something.


Have you had any ghostly experiences?

MeMe.

I don't usually do these. I'm terrible at them... Like.. I see I'm tagged in one, get super excited and then don't do it. I figured I'd do this one since I don't get intimate on here and figured I'd give you a little change of pace.

1. Where have you always wanted to have sex, but never have been able to?

This is an awkward question.. uh.. uh.. a beach or Italy. The beach thing will never happen because of the whole sand getting in your hoo-hah thing is really unappealing for me. As far as Italy goes.. I have to get over there first. But that's a few years off.
 
2. Whose one celebrity you would never fuck?
I have 2. Tom Cruise and Nicolas Cage. I think both are for obvious reasons. Tom Cruise is just a little too bat shit crazy for my taste and I'm just unimpressed by his work. Nic Cage... well, I HATE NIC CAGE. He's ugly, is a terrible actor and I gag when people talk about him, I'm fairly certain having sex with him would be the death of me.

3. If you were deserted on an island, what 2 bloggers would you want with you and why?
This is a hard one... I love so many different bloggers and I follow more blogs than most. If I had to choose I'd say Stay At Home Babe and Modern Super Momma. They rock my world and we already know we love each other.. plus we all bring something different to the table and I think that would help with our survival. Also, I wouldn't feel awkward being naked around them.

4. If you were to write your memoirs, what would you title it?
This is a good one.. I guess I don't really know. Right now, I'd probably title it Breath of Ella. It's the URL for this site and something I've just adopted for myself. I've started hearing more and more that as a person I'm like a "breath of fresh air". I took that to heart and have owned it. I hope you feel that way too.

5. Would you rather have a tapdancing penguin or a singing platypus and why?
Hands down, tap dancing penguin. cause penguins.. obviously.

6.  If you could kill one person and get away with it, who would it be and how would you do it?
Nicolas Cage. See #2 and also the fact that someone needs to get rid of that.

7. Whats one concert you would pay a million dollars to see?
It's really not a concert. I would pay a million plus some to see Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenowith and the rest of the original cast of Wicked. My favorite musical ever.

8. If you were going to host a blogger house party which bloggers would you invite and what would go down? (I think we're all going to keep this one in there).

Coyote Rose
Stay At Home Babe
Midwestern Mama H
Modern Super Momma
Sara Swears A Lot
The Bloggess
Barefoot Foodie
Mommy Wants Vodka

 and many many others but linking is a bitch right now. I think we'd all just get shitty drunk and talk about whatever. Probably pull some sweet pranks and just light up the town.

Real original I know.

***

Tomorrow, I will be doing a more Halloween themed bit around here. If you have any nightmares you'd like to submit for this week please send them to breathofella@gmail.com.