2 shout outs and the Zombie Spider that ruined my post.

I want to get this out of the way first and foremost.

You should go and check out The Tall One because she has a thing for combining words and I just have a problem speaking. She is my Stalger (blog stalker) and I am hers. It's really a fantastic relationship we have and she lives less than an hour away..

Meant to be?
I think yes.

Also, if you haven't, go read Blunt Delivery.
She is one of my favorite bloggers/people.
She is a fantastic writer no matter what the topic.
Today's 'bite' is beautiful.
Go read her too if you love me.
If not, don't tell me.. I don't want to be sad today.

Okay, now that those are out of the way let's talk about something else! *cue cheering*

I have officially entered the "floating" stage of the year before your birthday.

WAIT, RANDOM INTERJECTION.

Somebody please explain to me how the Spider *shudders* I just smooshed with my shoe has seemingly come back to life?! UMMM, I am really not okay with this since I am 100% arachnophobic and am quite possibly beginning to have a panic attack if I am not already... Um... somebody please tell me we don't have zombie spiders or that spiders now have a super power to come back to life now.

Great. I'm going to have nightmares for weeks.
This is what I get for being freaking arachnaphobic.

again, I am not okay with this.

So back to me being in the floating stage before my birthday thing...
My birthday is 3 months away and to me, maybe not to you, it seems to be flying by but standing still at the same time. I hate this sensation, its like I come to terms with

OHMYGOD, I'm pretty sure the leg just twitched on the Zombie spider. I don't know for sure since I'm trying ot type this out, but you guys, this thing is in my periferals. I can't not see it. It's like I need horse blinders in order of avoid looking at it.

my birthday being close and I'll just have to wait, but I'm getting SO impatient at the same time.
I'd blame it on the fact that I'm turning 21 this year but in reality, I get this way every year around this time because obviously my birthday is my favorite day.

okay guys, I don't think i'm going to be able to finish this post because that really was a zombie spider. I literally came un-balled from when I smooshed it, sat there tapping its foot and the took off scampering down the wall.

Being an adult, I ran out to get someone to kill it for me.

Now I feel like I have things crawling all over me.
This is awful.
I'm going to go cry in a corner now.

ps - in the editting phase of this post, I seriously looked down and jumped out of my chair because I saw my own hair on me. There is something seriously wrong with me people. Does anyone have any idea how to work through arachnaphobia?? I mean, I know I should just go head on with my worst fear but obviously after the above incident, I can't. I mean, in 6th grade, I got out of taking an open book test because there was a spider on one of the pages and I screamed, slammed the book shut and started bawling my eyes out. It was traumatizing for an 11 year old okay? Yes, I mean both the spider being in the book and the fact that I did that in the middle of a SILENT classroom in MIDDLE SCHOOL.

pps - Don't ya'll wish you could be in my head?

pppss - Also, I'd provide a picture of what I think a Zombie Spider looks like, but then I'd never be able to come back to my own blog.. you guys understand that right? Also, if all the mention of the "spee-ider" (think MegaMind) comes back to haunt me here and shows up in my ads, I might have a heart attack... I am not considering changing all of the "s" words into "spee-ider"... tempting.. but I'm lazy.

Keeping up with Halloween: My biggest fear.

Fear.





I do not do well with being scared.
I get panic attacks.
I can't breath.
While I fear whatever is scaring me, the Panic attack scares the bajeezus out of me too which puts me in quite the predicament and typically just makes the attack so much worse than it should be and lost way longer than necessary.

It takes me a long time to calm down.


I am arachnophobia.
Terribly arachnophobic. Like stand there frozen in fear or run like hell screaming terrified of spiders.

Spiders scare the HELL out of me. I have tried and worked on moving on from this fear for years with limited success. In fact, the only success I've really had is being able to calmly smush a spider in my car while I'm driving. I really had to work on that though, I almost died I don't know how many times because some jerk spider decided to crawl across my steering wheel and I would spaz out nearly crashing my car into whatever was within my vicinity. Needless to say, it was something that needed to be done.

However, if the car is parked I will jump out of my car and run away screaming like hell or just freeze up and wait for it to just start crawling all over me.

*shivers*

I'm getting the heebejeebees just thinking about them. Also, my breathing is starting to become shallow and my heart is racing.. no need to panic.. deep breathing.. HEEEEEE..HOOOOOO...

Okay, let me continue..

It started when we lived on out first farm. There was a window just outside of my bedroom with a little step underneath. It was the PERFECT spot for a nap anytime of the year. The sun felt so good beating down on you and the carpet was just plush enough to give you a good amount of cushion, it was magical. One day, I had taken my pillow out there with me to indulge in my nap (mind you I was like 5 or 6). I fell asleep without a care or fear in the world.. little did I know that would all change in the 45 minutes I slept on my favorite step...

I heard my dad walking in and out of the house and started waking up. I was delirious, sleepy and just beginning to open my eyes... then I saw it. A spider staring at me with one of its 8 legs just tapping up and down 2 feet from my face. Naturally I freaked out thinking this monster was going to/already had laid eggs on or in me or was going to eat my brain (I had a VERY active imagination.). I ran to my bathroom only to discover there was another spider on my face. I freaked right the eff out. I knocked that teeny tiny GIGANTIC spider off my face and ran out of my house faster than a speeding bullet.

I have never been the same.

I have had a long journey trying to battle this fear and really, other than the driving thing, I am no better than when everything first happened 15 years ago. It's like everytime I see one of those things (real or fake) I relive that moment on the step or that moment in the bathroom and feel that initial panic and fear all over again.

Someday I'll share with you the tales of me camping in a spider pit
and the dreams I have about those bastards (You'd think those would be my worst nightmare, but they aren't), but for now, I'm going to grab a paper bag and do some deep breathing excercises before I end up in the corner rocking back and forth.

I don't want to go to the looney bin just yet.

What is your biggest fear? Got any weird phobias?