Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My final say.

I don't know what it is about going to the bathroom, but when I enter a bathroom it's like an onslaught of crazy thoughts come into my head and completely take over. It's like an alien abduction without getting taken into space... or an alien for that matter... anyways..

that just happened to me.

but I'm thinking about my break up, the one that happened 7 months ago, and I need to get this off my chest.

As i was peeing, I looked down at my right hand toward the finger that was once home to my Claddagh ring. I took it off a couple weeks ago thinking it just didn't feel right resting there anymore. I mean, I (and I mean my mom bought it, hello I am WAY superstitious when it comes to Claddaghs) bought it out in Colorado, when I was with him, thinking it would just be a symbol of our foreverness.

I don't think I'll ever be able to wear that again.
I need to buy a new one, one that is just for me.

Then, while washing my hands, another thought struck me.... I remember being happy with him.. but I don't remember how it felt being happy with him.

In my mind, its like a sea of pictures screaming at me "HEY ELLA, see that smile? It's genuine... don't you remember that day?" over and over again. Wanting me to remember, wanting me to feel that again.

It hurts to realize I don't remember being happy when I was with him, I mean I loved him. The boy was my first real love.  I will love him forever and for always.

But it is time for the pictures to fade away in a box, in my attic.
Time for the stuffed animals and cards and notes to be stashed.
Time for me to be grateful and happy for the memories I do have.

and definitely time for me to move forward with my life.

As I was adjusting my clothes and primping my hair, I picked up my own chin, forced a smile on my face and will continue to remind myself that this is okay.

It's okay to move forward.
It's okay to feel absolutely heartbroken.
                                                                    but, only for today.

So this is my final say. You will not hear of this break up again.

Tomorrow, I'm getting back to me.

Stupid bathroom.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Princess Ella of Hampden.

(I thought I had posted this last week, but I was wrong, so I'm going to share it with you anyways.)

I realize I'm about a million (editor's note: MAJOR emphasis there) years late, but we all had this spectacularly exciting day on Friday... right? I mean it was... with the Royal Wedding and all.

So what did we do in my city?

We celebrated of course with our own Royal Wedding Reception!

At our local English Pub in Downtown, a Best Friend of our family set up a fundraiser for our local YWCA and it was a smashing hit. Filled with "Hip, Hip, HOORAH's!" and toasts, and MANY hats, and believe me when I say the hats at our party were simply marvelous. :)

The hype for this even had been going on for about 2 months and we were all giving the opportunity to pick out our own titles.

OH MAN, the chance of a lifetime.. the chance to be Royalty... the chance to be SO close to Prince Harry.. It was all mine... all i had to do was choose what title would fit me best.. and help me to woo my darling Prince.

Let's weigh out the options..  shall we?

Queen - What a nice title to have right? EXCEPT, it seems to be a little too forward and I wouldn't want to be like "OH HEY HARRY, HERE I AM, YA KNOW.. THE QUEEN"
 I didn't think they'd take that to well..

Duchess - OKAY, so obviously this isn't as prestigious as I (personally) wanted to be.

Then I decided on Princess.

because... obviously. :]

Thennnnn I got to wear a crown.
There was no champagne in that glass.
So don't fret.
I am being good till I'm 21.
kind of.

AND then, I kissed the Prince.
Although, much like everyone else.
I wished for it to be Prince Harry.
Oh Harry, my love, why haven't we found each other yet?

SO, if you've been reading me for any amount of time, and or read my old blog, you know I'm from Flint (I'd link to it, but ya know, I can't find the post and I'm lazy).

In Flint *town (as we lovingly call it) If you walk anywhere and you have legs (which is a given, since you know.. you're walking)... You are going to get cat called BY EVERY SINLEGUYOUTTHEREDRIVINGWALKINGCRAWLINGOMGEW. and yes, I know this is true in most places.

So naturally,  wearing the above got me some NICE comments.

When I arrive at the reception, I tell my mom & dad about it. They laugh and say "of course".

So when leaving the party, I walked back across the street to my car and had almost successfully completed the trek when....


I stop.
I turn.
I give a smug smile.

and ....


keep walking.

I had so many snarky things to say, but truthfully, my car was still 100ft away and he could've followed me.

Yes, I know.
I'm a huge coward.

SO, tell me, my brave ones.

What would you have said to this fool?