Friday, August 26, 2011

Taking a break (shocking!) to show you this conversation.

So eventually, I'll feel up to writing the ending of that story that I have started.
I won't say anymore than that.. I want you to be surprised. duh.

anyways, lots of things have been going on around here including (but not limited to) being hit by brick wall after brick wall (figuratively), which then get blown up (figuratively) and I end up becoming a huge cranky bitch who will destroy you should you cross her path the wrong way (literally.. almost happened the other night. I scared this poor kid half to death... I should work on this..)

anyways, this morning I texted my best friend after crying a lot, for silly not real life (even though its real to me) stuffs.

Me: I swear to god, I cry everytime dobby dies.

editor's note: I re-read Harry Potter every summer. I'm on the 7th book now. This is my 4th year in a row doing this... and yes, I cry EVERY TIME Dobby dies. I'm feeling a little teary right now...

C: Awww :( he's just a house elf. I'm pretty sure I cried too.

Me: Dobby is not ust a house elf! Don't speak such blasphemous things to me.

C: Kreacher was my favorite.

Me: Kreacher is kind of a bad ass.

C: Killing for fun! Kidnapping, racist house elf

Me: You are awful.

C: No I'm not :) Are you feeling any better (in reference to the above brick walls of life smacking me in the face everyday)

Me: Not really. Surprisingly I wasn't hungry when I woke up (haven't been eating much. DON'T HATE.) which I thought i'd be ravenous by morning and I've drowned myself in Harry Potter trying to distract from life and really to just avoid everything in general.

                so much truth right there. HOLY JESUS. I am such a Debbie Downer right now.

C: I'm gonna make you eat.

Me: Good luck with that

C: I'll get you a taco

Me: Me no like tacos (which is totally false by the way)

C: Hat Dag? (which is C speak for Hot dog.)

Me: Ew.

C: I just can't win with you

Me: Why are you trying to win?

C: I don't know.

Me: I ALWAYS win. Haven't you learned this yet?

C: I know, beleeee dat (actual spelling)

Me: Good as long as you know.

Then we go on to discuss how I have become hungry and how I should take advantage of the situation and clearly go get food.. even though its a couple hours before my lunch.... skip forward... and we land on this gem of a conversation.

Me: Kill me now! Just! Do! It!

C: Why would I do that?

Me: Because I want you to?

C: It's not worth prison?

Me: What?! Of course its worth prison! What a fantastic story to tell! I'm so famous (false) everyone will know who you killed out of the goodness of your heart!

C: I would get life, what do I get in return

Me: Infamy. Eternal glory for putting me out of my misery

C: And the rest of my life worrying about dropping the soap.

Me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...etc.... (this was a VERY long laughing text)

C: I'm not ready for that

Me: You are such a baby

C: i don't see your logic

Me: The other prisoners would be scared of you because you actually killed the meanest person on earth! (right now, I feel like the meanest person on earth) They would also clearly worship the groung you walk on based on the fact you did such a generous thing by killing me. Thats logic right there.

C: So they would worry about me dropping the soap around me

Me: Exactly. You would be the king pin... Minus the drug deal thing cause you... ya know... be in prison.

C: You have too much confidence in me, I'd be a prison bitch for sure.

Me: At least you can grow a mean prison pussy. (think about it. if you still don't get it, comment. I'll tell you)

So yeah, that conversation is currently happening. I'm sure it can only grow to be more ridiculous especially since I haven't eaten anything in 24 hours... but shhhh don't tell my mom that.. She'll freak out.***

Stupid stress. You ruin everything!! *shakes fist at sky*

***I am now leaving to go have lunch with my mother so YES i'll be eating. Sheesh.

1 comment:

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