You guys.. I had (kind of still have) a bald spot.
It happened last year, around the time a friend of mine passed away.
I woke up one day and BOOM.
BALD.
I absolutely panicked. What the hell was going on with me?
WHY WAS I GOING BALD SINCE MY ENTIRE FAMILY HAS A VERY FULL HEAD OF HAIR?????????????????????????????????
obviously, I was irrational, I mean hello, what 19 year old wants to start going bald? Okay lets be real, who wants to go bald period? That's right.. the ones that do are few and far between.
So yeah, I was going bald.
Thankfully, its growing back now, as you can see from above. I wish I had a better picture to show just how bald that spot was. It was scary and embarassing. I'll look through pictures and see what I can find.
Anyways, I debated on whether or not to tell the internetz about my bald spot.
and since this my week of confessions, I figured I might as well.
To get back to where I left off, you know, realized I was balding, freaking out...
OO! OO! Ella, what did you do next???
Well, of course I cried to my mother and she immediately started looking to the internet for answers. I tried to avoid that because I don't want to think I have cancer before I have reason to think I had cancer.. if that makes sense. Then she started asking people. Apparently, its pretty common for women to get bald spots.
UMM... THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
So, I did what any rational person would do and I made an appointment with my Gynecologist because obviously my lady bits were making me go bald. Logic was not my best friend during these days people.
Turns out I stressed myself out to the point of losing my hair.
Yeah.
I was told to relax.
take a bath, read a book, write, walk.. whatever
I'm all, how am I supposed to relax when I know that my stress level makes me lose my hair which is stressful in and of itself because I really don't want to be bald, I like having my own hair, I don't want to wear wigs.
Yes, just like that, my stress level went through the roof.
and while my hair may be growing back, my stress level hasn't gotten any better. Some days it seems like I just shed endlessly and I am bound to go bald any moment. Others, I lose one or two strands and my hair calls it good. But the only common factor is that I stress over everything. Which I can relate back to yesterdays entry about me being a masochist (and an alienator).
If I would stop putting myself in these awful positions ALL THE TIME, I might just be able to relax and probably stop losing my hair.
After I had this realization, what do I go off an do?
Throw myself into a pit of drama snakes and scream like hell.
Yes. I know, I'm brilliant.
How do you unwind/relax?
It's something I definitely need to work on.
My stress levels are constantly through the roof.
Help.
My stress levels are constantly through the roof.
Help.
Editor's Note: Can I just say that I am very frustrated with the fact that this is all center aligned? I am, its stressing me out looking at it and yes, I tried to fix it, but it wouldn't take. I kind of want to punch Blogger.
Stress is a very powerful force and can cause all kinds of ailments. I get stressed out easily and to get rid of the stress I take long walks, try to focus on my breathing, and listen to good music that puts me in a better mood. I hope that helps!
ReplyDeleteI generally hang out with friends, listen to fun music and get silly.
ReplyDeleteAnd, frankly, this is bad advice, but I drink a lot. I'm reading that you're not 21 yet (correct?), so that's probably not a realistic option for you. But man, I tell you what, a glass of wine at the end of the day really helps smooth things out.
Have you thought about going to a doctor for something like Lorazepam?
Lorazepam = an anti-anxiety medication commonly sold under the name "Ativan." Thought I should add that.
ReplyDeleteYou should take up kickboxing and just beat the shit out of the things and people that stress you out. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think the center align is kind of cute, actually.
@Tsaritsa - I usually walk it out, but living in Michigan in February, it just isn't happening. I can't wait for it to be like.. 30 degrees again. I'll definitely be out then.
ReplyDelete@DC - I try to do all those things, however, I have this mighty problem of being an alienator.. and it seems when I stress, it gets worse so I guess while I work on the whole alienation thing, I'll start being silly on my own. And I'll probably be looking into that drug.
@Sara - I have always wanted to try kickboxing or yoga.. I'm actually looking for places right now to go and check it out and see if its for me. The only problem is with my temper, I'd likely beat the shit out of people on a regular basis and I probably shouldn't do that. Oh well, I'll probably still do it.
wow, i can't really see a bald spot, although in the last pic i can see where it's growing back. that is CRAZY! that is some serious stress.
ReplyDeletealso: you are cute! just sayin'.
As a woman who has MALE pattern baldness (above each temple the length of my index finger) I hear you. I can't die my hair super dark because it shows my scalp. I've resorted to highlights so that when skin pops through it looks like more highlights. Or that's what I tell myself while obsessing in front of the mirror. Hopefully, you'll find your stride soon and learn that stress is actually a choice. No one told me that until I turned 30. Maybe you can save some hair by learning it sooner. :) LOVE!!
ReplyDeleteI think you should just rock the bald. Then, you could be like "bring it" to the stress because it was providing you with an awesome hair do.
ReplyDeleteNot quite the same, as she actually has cancer, but, my daughter looks bad ass without hair.