Monday, November 8, 2010

Charlie Sheen's Beauty Queen.

Monday and I are at war.

I realize that there aren't too many people that like or enjoy Monday's, but it seems to me that these past few Monday's have been bigger assholes than Charlie Sheen and we all know how he sucks at life.

He just looks like a psycho.

I'm pretty sure Monday's beat me like Charlie Sheen beat his wives and mutilates his drugs.

Too honest?
I didn't think so.

I think I shall now nickname Monday's Charlie. If you come up with something better, by all means, share!

So yeah, I have been Charlie's punching bag for the past few weeks. For example, last Monday, after a fantastic Halloween weekend, I woke up about 5 minutes late not thinking anything of it.. only to realize half way through blow drying my hair that its 8am on the first of the month and I have a staff meeting.

I immediately went into panic mode.
HOLY SHIT. I ran around, threw some clothes on slapped some make up on my face and hauled ass out the door since ohmygodtheyaregoingtofiremeifI'meverlateagain. After still being in my bath robe and my hair still a little wet at 8am, I arrived at the office at 8:15, just in time to be pointed out for my tardiness.

Then it dawned on me.
Our popcorn sale ended Saturday, which means I'm about to get 1000's of sheets of paperwork flooding in and out of my office which means my phone won't stop ringing because people are complete idiots and don't pay attention and oh my god my boss is going to panic which is bad since I'm already panicking and holy crap this is the longest run on sentence ever.


So yes, last Charlie was a nightmare. By the end of the day I was trying to call a truce, that can be found on my twitter (follow me!) page since I don't know how to do that screen shot business and give you picture proof.

Today, yet another Charlie, I left my breakfast at home, somehow got my boss upset with me, okay so thats not really a mystery, she called after I checked my morning voicemails and wasn't in the office and I didn't check my voicemail again, oops (all is well now), got bitched at by my ex (there is a story there since the break up is still so fresh) somehow managed to get behind in my work even though I haven't had this productive of a day in weeks and the day just won't end.

Charlie, I really don't understand why we can't call a truce and be friends.
Kiss and make up? No.


Monday would be Charlie Sheen's best friend.
Monday would be Charlie Sheen's accomplice in dancing naked and destroying a hotel room.
Charlie Sheen bribed the judges to make Monday his beauty queen.
true story.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must go get my sword, pistol and boxing gloves, I have a fight to attend to.


  1. Mondays can definitely suck ass-- did you remember to set your clock for Daylight Savings today?

  2. Charlie is definitely a douche of a whole different breed. I agree Monday's should be called Charlie !!

  3. @theTsaritsa - Luckily I did, but not until after I was reminded about 12 times.

    @Mama H - I think we should start it everywhere. I'm feeling a new trend coming on!

  4. Monday sucks. I make a motion it is removed from all Calendars, but then I think Tuesday would suck so if we could just go in at noon on monday and only deal with 1/2 a suck then we would be ok for Tuesday without the full brunt of Monday suckiness. Also Charlie Sheen never played the good guy, in any role, lets call his behavior " method acting".

  5. @Peachy I would love a half day on Monday. That would take the ick out of Monday's (kind of) and that is so true about Charlie Sheen.. I guess he isn't too much of an actor since he's never actually acted a day in his life.

  6. Calling Mondays Charlies is a brilliant idea.

    I'm totally on board.

  7. @Megan - I really hope this catches on. That would be magical. Like Unicorns flying out of everyone's behinds magical.