Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Kitty or VAMPIRE?

I almost died last night.
Don't worry, I'm okay now, but man it was a close call.


I was minding my own business with my darling Zinfandel



Sometimes he is sweet. But thats what Demon's do. Lure you in and then BAM.

Oi.
 Anywho, so that is Zinny and since I'm angry at him right now, he gets nasty things said about him here on the interwebz until I'm over being mad at him.


So I'm minding my own business, watching some Castle, Zinny laying by my side when...


[Okay, Zinfandel is seriously a gigantic pussy. Pun 100% intended. He is this big fat cat, who is all macho and "LOOK AT ME" all the time until you click your tongue  or take a step, then he is dashing off to hide behind the curtain where his butt hangs out. YES ZINFANDEL, we see you..]


... he got spooked and did some crazy gymnastics move I didn't know his fatness was capable of and somehow managed to do this...


Face, Kitty Scratch or VAMPIRE BITE?
It was all icky and gooey last night so I opted out of pictures then.


So, I took this as my cat was going for my Juggular.
I kicked his booty everytime he darted from me and hid behind the curtains (okay, I didn't physically kick him, I just took every opportunity to scare the crap out of him I could).


I went downstairs for dinner and told my mom that my cat had tried to kill me.


"That's nice dear"


"No, seriously, Zinfandel tried to kill me."


"I bet he did"


What the heck's that supposed to mean.


Once I was done setting the table (yeah, I still live at home, judge me why dontcha?) I turned around and my mom's face looked like this...






Thankfully, I didn't bleed out.
So scary.Then it occured to me.. what if a Vampire DID swoop in and thats why Zinny freaked out and it wasn't actually him that cut me, it was a Vampire's bite?!


What do you think?
Vampire or Kitty?

6 comments:

  1. Yet all I can think of is Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever.
    Soap and water then Neosporin for you Missy!!

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  2. Yeah, don't forget the Neosporin! I'm covered in cat scratches, too, my kitty can be sweet but she also like to pounce on me when I'm walking out of the bathroom. She's sneaky like that.

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  3. @Mama H - Okay Okay, I'll use the Neosporin!

    @Tsaritsa - My friend had a cat we named Satan purely because that devil used to scratch us and make it look like we cut ourselves. Cats are so sneaky, I'd like to have their stealth.

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  4. VAMPIRE! A hot one like Eric on True Blood. It's a real shame you didn't see him.

    You are a riot! My new favorite blogger!

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  5. Cats are the DEVIL!

    Okay, okay. Some of them are cute. But they all have a little devil in them...

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  6. @Meredith - I wish I would've seen hot Eric from True Blood, I would've gladly spread my... WOAH, gettin' a little fresh up in here.. is anyone else sweating?

    @Sara - My cats are the devil. One of them tries suffocate me in my sleep. True Story.

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